Hikes!!!

I can smell the honeysuckle through my open window this evening.  The air is cool but a little thick, making for summer clothes.  The breeze of my ceiling fan is mingling with that of outside, making tiny eddies of cold spots as I move about my room.  The music is on and the mood is...changeable. 

I can literally go from feeling low to feeling alright within the space of a shower, the space of a conversation, the space of a deep breath.  Irritability can change into acceptance in a minute or five or ten.  And this is what has been sustaining me through this transition period that I've been going through for the last few months.  A friend of mine pointed out the other day that I was like a tornado, constantly changing my mind day to day, week to week.  What do I want to do?  Do I want to join the Peace Corps or do I want to get a dog?  Do I want to move home next spring or move somewhere else?  Do I want to get a relatively high paying job for 40 hours a week or go back to school?  Or both?  

What I do know is this.  I need money to get my writing out into the world, or at least to help pave the way.  I need to begin making plans for my future.  I need to get a dog, because I've always wanted one.  

Another thing that I've realized is that working in a grocery store deli is a practice in patience and tolerance.  Some days I'm not sure I'm actually in the real world when I'm there, as the characters are often as colorful as a comic book or a sitcom.  It is a good practice for me, tolerance and acceptance.  Often times I catch myself being too judgmental of my fellow homo-sapiens, and I don't like that.  

When I'm not at the grocery store or resting my tired feet at home, I've been enjoying North Carolina lots.  Springtime here is amazing, and I've been soaking it up.  With some company, of course.  Mostly involving dachshunds.

This is a view of the Parkway.  And a dog on a trash bin.  

Notice all the pretty little white flowers on this stream?  Also, this is exactly what Scotland looks like.  It's no wonder that so many Scots settled in this area.

Thomas and Dali and I climbed a mountain, and this was a view from the top

She was quite the explorer

Just like her Auntie Shanti

Cool rocks no?

North Carolina magnificence

My friend Joel and I investigated some incredible caverns...

They were very wet and cooly lit

And this looked just like something innately feminine, and I thought it was very cool

This was the latest hike that Thomas and Dali and I went on, and there were lots of waterfalls to see.  We stopped to have a snack at this one.

And when I saw the covered bridge, we had to find it.  So we did.

Peekaboo

Pretty sky in this water

So you see, while at times I feel lost and confused and afraid, there is always the balance to look forward to.  Sunshine and greenery and exercise and caverns and views and dachshunds and friends.

Shanti Elena

Ch Ch Ch Changes...

Here it is folks, the information we've all been waiting with bated breath for!  Well, at least I'd like to think you've all been waiting with bated breath, makes me feel special and important!  The information is this: I survived my writing conference and learned so much and now am determined to put it all into practice.  What did I learn, you may be wondering?  Well, let me sum up...

The obvious thing is that I need to write more.  Everyday.  I already knew this, I just have to do it.  I also need to start my own webpage, I need to submit things to contests, I need to build a platform (which there is a whole book about, and I've purchased said book) and *gulp* find an editor.  Also need to manifest a ton of money for this editor, as they don't come cheap and the pros at the conference couldn't emphasize enough how much writers need their stuff professionally edited.

In light of the money thing, I have a job. Haven't started yet but it takes a weight off of my mind that I'm going to be bringing in some dough.

All of this is a lot to take in, and there is more.  But for now I have to focus on what I can do and let the rest happen as it will.  The conference was very interesting in another way, as it was very spirituality based.  Dr. Wayne Dyer is a self-help guru, and he had so many inspiring things to say.  The most prevalent message that I took away from the conference was that our thoughts and our desires can bring what we need.  I already have seen this happen, this manifest destiny, in my life.  So I have to reverse my negativity to positivity, and the universe will give me what I need and desire.  Harder than it sounds, my friends!  I have been stuck in a downward flow for a little while now, lacking something.  Motivation, inspiration, what have you.  Something is missing.  I'd like to blame it on the fact that I have no outlet anymore, as smoking was such a powerful one for me.  It's amazing how much attachment we can put onto something that is so bad for us.  How much power we give it.  And it's so frustrating too!  I'm ready for the frustration, the need, to end.  I'm ready to not have to fight myself anymore to do what's good for me.  And I'm saving so much money too!  But I digress, this no smoking thing is just a small part of the whole.  It's what I have fixated on as what's to blame.  I think it's just that I need to start doing more.  Getting out, exercising, laughing.  I have started gardening as a way to help with this.

I have peppers, cabbage, and tomatoes planted in here.  I also dug it all up by hand.  That's so much work but it was fun too!

Gardening, some cooking, a lot of pool playing, hiking, flower staring, music listening, and a vacation taking.  These are all cool things.  Want some Florida pics?

This is a view from outside the convention center where the conference was.  It also doubles as a cruise ship docking area.

This is a very fancy gas station we hit driving north to St Augustine

Fort Lauderdale beach...it was a little rainy that day

But I was smiley anyway

Beachfront Fort Lauderdale

This was an interesting find in the parking lot of a Bass Pro Shop.  Have y'all been to one of those?  They're the most humongous outdoorsy hunting/fishing store ever.  Anyway, my friend D Thomas and I thought this was hilarious.

Also this gold-plated hummer.  Laughed for long time at this.

Ocean sunset.  It is so strange to me to not have the sun set over the water.  

St Augustine may be one of my new favorite places to visit, and this little garden that is outside a tiny restaurant and coffee shack is only one reason.

This fort from the 1500's is another reason.  Hi there!

And especially these ships are a reason.  

So are these rays.  We also saw dolphins, both in the marina and on the beach swimming.  Amazing!

Old-timey stuff downtown

And an extremely metal fence.  

I also got pretty darn tan, even burned a little.  But it was so worth it and so beautiful.  

I'm home now, and it's time to start my real life.  I also have been tossing around the idea of applying for the Peace Corps.  I haven't made up my mind about that yet, but it's something that has been planted and may be flourishing like I hope my garden will.  

So.  If I'm a writer, I must write.  If I am a gardener, I must garden.  And so on and so forth.  If I am a good person, I must be that as well.  

I love you all, I hope to give more updates very soon, and I am excited and nervous about starting new things.  About changing.  But we all are.  And I must remember that life is all about change.  And I've done so much already.

Peace, Love, Happiness, Motivation, and Words

Shanti Elena

P.S.  Here is some photographic art for your viewing, including dachshunds and spiders

Happiness often comes in small packages that we may miss if we blink!  Don't let the little things pass you by :)