Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
This struck quite a cord with me, as this journey of self discovery has taught me so much and left me with so many more questions.
What have I unbecome in the last year and a half?
I've unbecome a doormat.
I've unbecome someone who is scared of hiking and exercise.
I've unbecome someone who eats unhealthy food all the time.
I've unbecome someone who isn't willing to ask for what she wants.
There are more, but these are a few that I've come to realize. Right now we're in the middle of a thunderstorm, and it is hard to go swimming when that is happening. I'm getting my hair cut later, much overdue. I'm going on a tentative walk to "Skinny Dip Falls" off of the Parkway after the hair cut. I'm cooking breakfast for dinner and fixing my washing machine with a part I bought earlier this week. I'm keeping my options open for work. I'm not writing. But I did meet another writer the other night at Hot Springs who is in a women's writing group. This could be a very good thing. I've also joined a book club. AND I'm visiting home in a few weeks, which I'm totally stoked about.
Journeys are interesting things. I've come to this place where I think it's almost time for my next big one. The only question is, what will it be? So many options: Moving, book publishing, going home, getting a new job, going back to school, having children...Ha, maybe not the last quite yet but soon!
Peace, love, thunder, indecisions, and unbecoming
Shanti Elena
